


An Unexpected Proposal

by Prisoner24601



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Pre-Game Story, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-05
Updated: 2010-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-11 11:44:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/112081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prisoner24601/pseuds/Prisoner24601
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A spur of the moment marriage proposal has two men, one who shares her life and the other who shares her bed, awaiting her answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Dragon Age Kink Meme. The prompt was:
> 
> Proposals. You writers got 'em, I want to see them. F/M, M/M/, F/F, whatever, bring out your dead - er - OTPs and get them hitched. I want fumbling and nervous or confident and epic, whatever you think fits the pairing. Bonus for post-proposal celebration sex of any kind. All pairings and kinks welcome! Let's see some Fereldans, elves, Qnari and dwarves down on one knee.
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated. Constructive criticism is welcome. What you liked/didn't like, thought worked/didn't work is especially helpful.

The ballroom was hot and stuffy, the product of too many noble bodies in too close proximity to one another, but none of the guests at the royal wedding seemed to notice. Or perhaps they were just too well bred to allow such minor things as heat get in the way of the social event of the decade.

It was not every day that a newly minted King took a bride. And if the woman in question had commoner roots, most looked the other way in deference to the fact that her father was the Hero of the River Dane. There were those among the Bannorn who deeply disapproved of the union between Cailan and Anora, but all were wise enough to keep their remarks to whispered words behind closed doors.

Teagan, however, approved heartily of the match. Cailan had a good heart but lacked focus and Teagan was deeply relieved that someone as sensible as Anora would be guiding his nephew amongst the rocky waters of Ferelden politics. Even better, Anora's marriage to his nephew meant one less woman of rank his brother and his sister-in-law would nag him about marrying.

Unfortunately, matchmaking was still foremost on Eamon and Isolde's mind. Eamon had given him a stern lecture the night before about how it was high time he should be settling down and raising a family and becoming respectable, while Isolde seemed to find an excuse to throw every woman of noble birth in his direction. Which was why, at the moment, Teagan was doing his best to avoid the both of them. To which end he had taken up a position on the balcony of the great hall where he could see the enemy coming and outmaneuver them before they pounced. It also gave him an unobstructed view of the long table where the new King and Queen held court under the watchful eye of Anora's father. But it wasn't Cailan, Anora or even a dour Loghain that held his attention, but the woman in maroon armor who stood vigilant behind the man she had served half her life.

Ser Cauthrien stood ever stoic behind her lord and master, dark eyes scanning the crowd for potential threats. At a twitch of Loghain's fingers, she was by his side, bending over the Teryn's shoulder. Loghain said something in her ear that made her grimace, and gestured towards the crowd before beckoning another of his men to take her place. The intent was obvious, Loghain was telling his right hand to go and enjoy the party, but from the look on her face, she was reluctant to go.

Teagan smiled. He had been waiting for Cauthrien to be released from her duties all night. When Loghain pressed the matter with another curt gesture, Cauthrien obeyed and stepped off of the platform. At the foot of the short set of steps she looked up at the balcony. Their eyes met and Teagan's smile turned wolfish as he saluted her below. Her lips twitched and she headed for the far door.

Teagan did one last sweep of the ballroom and pushed through the crowd to the back stairs, his pulse racing in anticipation. He was in sight of the backdoors that would lead to his escape when he heard the two voices he'd been dreading the most.

"There you are," his brother called.

Teagan rubbed his face with his hand and groaned before turning to face Eamon and Isolde. "Yes, here I am."  
Isolde sighed and made a disapproving cluck. "Teagan where have you been? We have been looking for you for over an hour."

Teagan's back teeth ground together, though his frustration was tempered with the knowledge that both his brother and sister-in-law had the Arldom's best interest at heart. He gave them his most charming smile coupled with a careless shrug. "Enjoying the party, like everyone else."

Eamon frowned at him. "Well you must come with us. Bryce Cousland would like you to dance the next set with his daughter."

Teagan crossed his arms over his chest. "You can't be serious. Elissa is a fine girl, but she is only _fifteen._ I remember when she was in swaddling clothes, for Maker's sake."

"She is old enough to be a bride," Eamon said. "An alliance between our houses would be most advantageous."  
Teagan threw his hands up. "Then draft one! One that doesn't include me."

"Please, Teagan," Isolde wheedled. "Won't you at least come and meet her? She has grown into quite a lovely young lady."

"Later, perhaps. I have… some important business to attend to."

"Important business with whom?" Isolde demanded. "One of the serving wenches?"

"No, not at all." Teagan groped for an excuse. "It's military business, actually. I was going to discuss the outbreak of bandits on the road to Redcliffe with Loghain's Lieutenant." It was not a lie really, more that Teagan hoped the discussion would happen while he and Cauthrien were naked.

"_Now?_"

"Yes. Time is, as you are so fond of telling me, of the essence." He trotted down the stairs before either could object, throwing the words over his shoulder as he made his escape. "I will see you both later."

Once through the door, Teagan lengthened his stride, determined not to be waylaid again. It took him several minutes to reach the part of the keep that housed the military barracks and the room that Cauthrien took as her own. But a soft knock on the door followed by silence was his only reward. For another minute or so his impatience warred with his manners, until he twisted the latch and entered her spartan quarters.

Her armor and unmistakable broadsword gleamed on the workbench, but Cauthrien herself was nowhere to be found. Thwarted, Teagan cursed. He wracked his brains for where she might be, thinking perhaps she had gone to his quarters instead but dismissed that thought. Cauthrien was far too conscious of class and rank to do anything as brazen as being caught in his quarters.

He stormed down the empty hallway, wondering where the hell she had gone, unable to ask the soldiers that normally resided there as they were all out on duty, when he saw the light spilling from the cracked door to the great war library. His spirits returned, buoyed by the hope that his night would not turn out to be a frustrating loss.

She was inside, alone and frowning over a large map on the great oak table. Teagan locked the door behind him as he entered. He came up behind her and bent over her shoulder, the length of his body pressing against her back as his arm snaked around her waist.

"You are a difficult woman to find," he griped as he nuzzled her bare neck.

"I thought you were not coming," she sighed. "There was much talk about you and Elissa Cousland at the main table today. Everyone agreed that she would make you a fitting match."

"Jealous?" he asked.

Her low chuckle rang throughout the library. "Not particularly. She seems like a sweet girl. She would most likely make you an excellent wife."

He knew he should be grateful that Cauthrien wasn't the jealous sort; it was one of the many qualities that had drawn him to her in the first place. But a part of him rankled at her indifference because of the niggling doubt that she _would_ be the jealous sort, if he were the right man.

"I am not interested in a fifteen-year-old girl. Maker's breath, I'd have to treat her with kid gloves, and that would be no fun at all. Besides, if I were married, then I couldn't have you," he complained, as his hands roamed up her taut belly to the swell of her breasts.

"True," she sighed as she stretched her body into his. "Neither of us are oathbreakers."

He murmured into her ear. "Obviously there is only one solution. I should marry you."

The words were meant as a jest. Cauthrien certainly took it as such, rewarding him with another low laugh. But the idea, once spoken out loud, seemed to take on a life of its own.

He couldn't stop thinking about it, not even when she turned in his arms and pulled him down into a kiss. He savored her taste for a few moments before pulling back and declaring, "I'm serious."

A skeptical frown crossed her striking face. "You are not."

"No," he insisted. He took both of her hands in his. "I think I am."

She blinked at him, her brown eyes growing wide with obvious astonishment that mirrored his own. Her mouth dropped open and Teagan, sensing that whatever she was about to say, would not be the answer he was looking for, ambushed her with another kiss.

The diversion worked. He was able to hold off her answer for several delicious minutes as he plundered her mouth. But eventually she placed her palms on his chest and pushed him back far enough that she could scowl at him.   
Breathless words tumbled from lips swollen from kisses. "Teagan, I'm not going to marry you."

The denial was expected. The way it aroused him was not. The words were a gauntlet thrown to the ground and he could not help but take up the challenge. He leaned in again, this time splitting his assault between nibbling on her ear and unhooking the clasps of her shirt. "Whyever not?"

She threw her head back and laughed. Teagan took advantage of the opening in her defenses, moving his lips down her neck, nuzzling and nipping as she spoke. "I don't want to get married, and neither do you."

"Well, that is mostly true," he admitted, inwardly triumphant that he had her shirt halfway undone. He couldn't resist slipping one hand to touch one of her generous breasts. His thumb grazed an already hardened nipple, still covered by her bindings. His boldness was rewarded with a soft gasp. "But I have to get married _sometime_. It's my duty, after all. I don't see why it shouldn't be to the most attractive woman I have ever known."

The words were calculated flattery, but he also meant every word of them. He'd never met anyone who was his match in bed or in battle the way that she was.

He could tell his caresses were distracting her because she took his hands in hers and stilled them. "You would be bored and miserable being confined to one lover and I do not want to be the one to tie you down."

Teagan slipped his hands from hers and tugged the remainder of her shirt out of her breaches. "Woman, you could never bore me. Besides, you have already ruined me for other lovers."

Also mostly true. He had stopped his more serious dalliances entirely at least, because all of them seemed to pale in comparison to her. The occasional quick tumble he sometimes sought out from willing partners would also end once they took vows. He had seen with his own eyes what damage infidelity, whether perceived or real, could cause a man's wife, and he had sworn to himself long ago that he would never do that to his own bride.

Cauthrien clutched at the hem of her shirt, keeping him from pulling it over her head, so he switched tactics to running his hands down her flank and kneading her delectable backside. "I would not make a good wife, especially to a Bann. Surely you must see that."

"No. I don't see that. I think you would make an excellent wife if you wanted to." He slid his hands up her back, underneath her shirt and with deft movement undid the bindings from her breasts.

She made an exasperated gasp, but did not cross her arms over her chest in time to stop him from whisking the offending binding away. "But I don't want to. That's the _point._"

"I will just have to change your mind then."

She cupped his face in her hands and sighed. "You are not going to change my mind."

He grinned down at her before grabbing her wrists and winding the binding around them. Her eyes went wide, but before she could stop him, her wrists were tied and he was lifting her up onto the oak table. He could feel her laughing protests against his chest and she squirmed against him in a way that made his already painful erection throb with need, but he was not going to be sidetracked this time.

He hooked her wrists to the giant iron candelabra that was built into the large oak table and made sure she was secure. When he finished, he looked down at her. Her hazy dark eyes and the way she was biting her lower lip betrayed that she was just as aroused by this as he was. Now that there were no more obstacles, he unfastened the remainder of her shirt, laying her breasts bare before him.

He arched an eyebrow and gave her a wicked smirk. "Well, we'll see about that, now won't we?"

***

Loghain watched his daughter dance with her new husband from the banquet table at the front of the great hall. He was happy for his and daughter but even more so for his nation. Since Maric's death, Cailan had been floundering as a ruler, spending far too much time hunting and whoring and not even bothering to try and fill his father's shoes. Ferelden needed a political savvy, administratively deft leader, Cailan needed a pretty wife whom he could dote on and Anora needed to be _needed_. And now she had a place where she could use her ferocious capabilities and without being thwarted by her lowborn parentage.

He'd never seen his daughter look so happy. It was the best possible situation for all parties involved, and for once Loghain Mac Tir was pleased.

The others at the table were not, at the moment, as satisfied as he. Bryce and Eamon had been plotting a potential match between the youngest Cousland girl and Eamon's younger brother since the feast started, but their plan had been thwarted by Teagan who had wisely disappeared. Or so Loghain had gathered. He had only half listened to their conversation – mostly out of his own self preservation. As a widowed Teryn, he was often the target of matchmaking parents himself. Even his dour nature, lowborn birth and vehement insistence that no, he was not looking for a new Lady Mac Tir, thank you, wouldn't put them off.

"If we could only get them together," Eamon said. "Then he would see that she has grown into a lovely girl." Eamon frowned in Loghain's direction. "Of course that would be easier if you didn't work your soldiers so hard."

Loghain lifted his brows in surprise. "What do my soldiers have to do with Teagan?"

Eamon gestured to the door. "Teagan said that he had to discuss the bandit problem with your Lieutenant."

"He means Cauthrien then." Who apparently had applied a very liberal interpretation his order to take the rest of the night off. He was not surprised. Cauthrien was his right hand and had a focus and work ethic that rivaled his own.

He rose from his chair. "I will see if I can go find your brother."

Eamon look surprised by the offer but said, "Ah, thank you, Loghain."

In truth, Loghain had any number of servants he could send, but the noise and the heat and the crowd was beginning to wear on him. Since Anora had the remainder of the festivities tightly under her control, relaxing over a glass of wine and a map as they plotted strategy sounded like a good way to end a very fine day. It was the perfect excuse to make an exit.

"I didn't say I would send him back," he drawled.

He left the two men frowning at his back as he walked down the stairs. With one last nod to his daughter as he passed, Loghain walked out of the hall. The noise quieted to a dull roar, and by the time he reached the military side of the keep, blessed silence. He strode through the empty halls, heading for the great war library. If Cauthrien and Teagan were plotting strategy, it would most likely be there. But when he reached the door was locked from the inside.

Loghain made an amused grunt. Apparently Teagan was bound and determined to escape his brother's machinations for one night, and Loghain really couldn't blame him.

It did present a problem, however. Loghain couldn't pound on the door for an answer. The wood was thick and magically sealed once locked. He hadn't brought his own set of keys, and while he could summon a chamberlain, it might take a half of an hour or so to get what he needed depending on how drunk or busy the servants were at the moment. And then he remembered there was an entrance through a back passageway that led up to the shallow balcony to the library. It was used mostly for the archivists to organize books, maps and scrolls on the second level, but it was worth a try.

He was in luck. The door was not locked and he made his way up the stairs. Ahead he could hear the murmur of voices echoing down, confirming his suspicions that was where the pair had gone to. When he reached the top, he pushed the door open and stepped onto the shadow shrouded balcony.

What Loghain saw made his perpetual frown deepen into a full blown scowl as his good humor vanished. The pair was in the room, but the whelp's hands were all over _his_ Lieutenant, whose shirt was askew in a way that left no doubt about what they were up to.

It was a nasty shock; he'd had no idea of their involvement until now. He wondered how long the tryst had been going on. It was possible that this was their first encounter, but there was an intimacy and familiarity in the way that they touched that suggested this was more serious than a brief affair.

Loghain drew breath for the scathing remark that was on the tip of his tongue, when Cauthrien cupped the whelp's face in her hands and said, "You are not going to change my mind."

It was the earnest way she said it, as though there were something larger at stake here than a simple tumble for pleasure, that gave Loghain pause. Teagan however did not. He grabbed her wrists and bound them together to the shock of both Cauthrien and her commander watching from above. A heartbeat later, Teagan pushed her up onto the oak table and secured her to the iron candelabra bolted in the center.

Loghain would have demanded what the meaning of this foolishness was, except that the meaning was infuriatingly clear. Cauthrien was the best blade in Ferelden and one of the fiercest soldiers he'd ever known. Much of her training he'd seen to personally, and he knew, without a doubt, that Teagan would not be able to manhandle her this way, unless she allowed it.

While Loghain was choking on his outrage, Teagan made quick work of the remains of her shirt, unfastening the rest of it pushing the material aside and exposing her full breasts to both men in the room. It was not enough for Teagan, who pushed the sleeves up to her bound wrists, until there was nothing left between her soft skin and the hard table except for Loghain's favorite map.

Loghain's throat went dry. Frozen to the spot he couldn't do anything but stare. Teagan looked down at her and said, "Well, we'll see about that, now won't we?"

She jerked her chin up. "I am quite resolved, Teagan."

Teagan reached for her boots, pulling them free and tossing them aside. "As am I." The whelp flashed an insipid grin down at the woman bound to the table. "I can be rather persuasive."

She laughed. It was a sound that Loghain rarely heard. One that he had never caused her to make himself. "I think you overestimate the power of your charm."

Teagan reached for the laces of her breeches and pulled them loose one by one. "Oh, I won't be relying on my charm."  
The anticipation nearly drove Loghain mad, especially when the whelp began to slide her breeches and smallclothes off, bit by torturous bit, revealing the feminine swell of hips and a pair of long, shapely legs usually hidden underneath practical leggings and a heavy set of armor.

Her body was exquisite. The twin blades of desire and longing lanced through him, the blows being more powerful for being so very unexpected. Loghain had to grip the banister in front of him to steady himself, his fingers tightening around the wood until his knuckles were white. Teagan leaned forward with a self satisfied smirk, running his hand up her leg and thigh, resting on her taut belly.

The earth beneath Loghain's feet already felt as though it were crumbling away, but when Teagan spoke, the two words tipped Loghain's world completely on its axis.

"Marry me."

The words were like ice water, jolting Loghain of his trance. Fear that she might say yes squeezed his chest.

"No," she said, but her answer brought no relief. The curve of her lips was an obvious challenge, one that no man would have been able to resist.

Furious, Loghain knew he should turn and walk out the door and leave them to their fool games, but he had to know how it would end. He had to know if she would break and if he was going to lose his Lieutenant.


	2. Chapter 2

The throb of heat her denial caused made Teagan groan. He took a few moments to simply appreciate his handiwork, watching anticipation play across her striking face as he unbuttoned his doublet and shirt. Once free, he tossed the garments aside and stepped between her gloriously long legs.

He rested his palms on either side of her body and leaned down, letting his bare skin slide against hers until he was close enough to kiss her. Until his groin was cradled between her thighs and the only thing separating them was the fabric of his breaches. But Cauthrien didn't lie there complacently, she lifted her head and kissed him first as she rocked her hips into his. He was panting by the time she finished her embrace with a sharp nip on his bottom lip.

"Woman, you are killing me," he griped. His only answer to that was another throaty laugh.

Realizing that he was losing the battle even though she was the one bound and tied, Teagan decided it was time to put his hands to work, using one to skim her breasts as he tasted them and sliding the other to knead her backside. Her breathing grew heavy but he wasn't rewarded with a moan until he nudged her leg up higher and pushed his fingers into her slick heat.

He stroked her until she quivered and then stopped. Again he made his demand. Again came the expected denial. Again his arousal burned white hot. He teased and tortured her this way, asking the question over and over, denying her release every time she denied his demand.

She squirmed under his hands and moaned her frustration. "_Teagan_."

She wasn't the only one frustrated. He wanted her so badly now that the ache in his breaches was becoming painful. "Give me the answer that I want," he said.

Cauthrien gasped, "Never."

He considered another plan of attack. If he couldn't cajole her with denial, maybe he could overwhelm her with pleasure. He flashed a cheeky grin. "Come now, I haven't even made a proper proposal on bended knee yet."  
Her eyes crinkled in amusement as she laughed again. "Teagan, you are incorrigible."

He dropped to one knee, draped her legs over his bare shoulders and asked her one more time. "True," he said. "Marry me anyway, Cauthrien."

This time he didn't wait for her denial. He just parted her thighs and tasted her, reveling in her cries of pleasure ringing through the war library.

***

Loghain watched his lieutenant writhe and moan on the table below. It was as though a demon had plucked his deepest desire from the darkest recess of his mind and was tormenting him by forcing him to watch another man take it.

He was a fool for not realizing it before now, and Loghain cursed under his breath at his blindness. At his age, he should have known and mastered his desires well enough not to be taken by surprise. But Loghain had always had a preference for strong, beautiful warrior women, and in hindsight the only real surprise was that it had taken his passion this long to bloom.

Lean muscles tensed as her eyes fluttered shut and she arched and cried out her pleasure. The candlelight made her skin glow golden, thrusting the scars that crossed her body into relief. Scars that were a living map of years she had spent in his service. Scars that he ached to touch. Scars that should have marked her as his.

He glowered down the pair of lovers, battling the instinct that burned in his belly telling him to storm down the stairs, drag the whelp to his feet and teach him a bloody lesson he'd never forget. But if there wasn't enough reason and prudence left to allow him to storm out the door, he still had enough pride to keep him from acting like a possessive, jealous fool.

Cauthrien gasped again and twisted her hands free, and for a brief moment, Loghain had a wild and cruel hope that she would shove Teagan away. The fool notion was crushed when Cauthrien buried her strong hands in Teagan's hair. It struck home what Loghain had already known in his heart - that Cauthrien wanted this, and somehow that was the most unbearable thing of all.

Teagan brought her to one final quaking climax before rising from the floor with his breaches already unlaced. The whelp grabbed her wrists and jerked her to her feet, "Marry me, dammit."

"I won't, she breathed. And then she kissed him, her embrace hungry and fierce.

He groaned and spun her around until she faced the table and tightened an arm around her belly. She braced herself against the wood, placing the flat of her hands on the surface, pushing her backside against Teagan's groin in an undeniable invitation.

"You will," Teagan said, as he thrust into her.

***

Sweet Maker, she was driving him mad.

But it was a delicious kind of insanity, one that melted through his skin into his muscles and down to his bones, until all he could think about and all he could sense was her.

It was no longer a playful game between longtime lovers, but his need and longing clashing with her stubborn will. Teagan had to possess more than just her body now. It wasn't enough that she was tight and slick and hot around him, or that his lips were pressed to her neck, or that the curves of her hips were under his clenching hands. It wasn't enough that she was crying out his name and pushing back against his thrusts.

Teagan wanted more. He wanted everything she had and everything she was. He wanted to be able to be the only man to make her cry out in passion this way, the only man she went to bed with at night, and the only one she woke up with in the morning. He wanted to fight by her side, to father her children, to make her the lady of Rainesfere.

But Maker help him, he was failing. He could feel that in his bones too, and he couldn't understand why.

Even so, giving up was not an option. He continued his relentless assault as long as he could, covering her body with his, pulling her tightly against him, and brushing her ear with his lips as he asked again and again, each time silently willing that this would be the moment that she broke and gave in.

She cried out another denial, quaking under his thrusts and he could feel the pleasure ripple through her muscles. His own body responded, the heat that had coiled in his loins burning white hot. He grasped for his self control, but it was slipping away quickly.

Instinct told him to bury himself deep within her to spill his seed. And an inner voice that was much louder than a whisper told him that getting her with child would be another way to triumph. Self loathing for considering such an abuse of her trust warred with his desperate need to make her his. The idea of her belly swelling with his babe pushed him over the edge, and with a cry he pulled away just in time to spill himself harmlessly over her thighs.

They stilled, and for a while the only sound in the room was the sound of their panting breath. They both clung to the table, until eventually he shifted into one of the nearby chairs, pulling her with him until she was on his lap. And when he was finally able to face his heartache, he cupped her cheek in his hand and turned her to face him. It didn't occur that he would be facing her heartache too, but there it was plain on her face and in her dark brown eyes.

It cracked his resolve, but still he had to know. "Why, Cauthrien? Why won't you marry me?"

***

Loghain's relief was nearly a tangible thing, allowing him to finally relax his white knuckled grip on the banister. He had triumphed, and yet it brought him no peace.

In silence, Cauthrien slid out of Teagan's arms and rose. She walked over to where her shirt was crumpled on the table, picked it up and twisted it in her grip as her grief played across her face. "I don't know how to explain it to you in a way you'll understand."

Even though his voice remained even, Loghain could tell the whelp was trying to keep his temper in check from the way his hands tightened into fists. "I think I deserve one."

She met her lover's gaze. "I'm a commoner."

"I don't care where you came from."

She shook her head. "I know you don't. But I do."

Teagan leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Is it because of Eamon? He will object, but he has no say in my choice."

She sighed and pulled her shirt on. "No. It's not because of your brother or because of you for that matter. You're quite wonderful."

The whelp turned away and stared into the fire. "Yes, I'm so wonderful that you refuse my hand."

Silence fell between them. Cauthrien's face twisted, but she closed her eyes and composed herself. There were no tears, and by the time she starting pulling her clothes back on, her shaking hands were the only betrayal of her disquiet.

She turned toward the door, but then hesitated. With a sigh, she turned back. "I was born in a one room house with a dirt floor. I was one of seven filthy, half starved, illiterate children. The day that I found Teryn Loghain on the road, the only things I had to my name were a rusty blade and the rags on my back. I didn't even own a pair of shoes."

Her words seemed to draw the whelp out of his self pity, and threw Loghain back to the memory of too many people in a crowded ramshackle house. Of a pair of indifferent parents, happy to have one less mouth to feed. Of a skinny girl whose raw talent was being smothered by poverty and misery.

"He took me out of that. He brought me into his service, gave me training, had his tutors teach me how to read, how to fight and gave me a chance to prove my worth." She closed her eyes and shuddered. "If it hadn't been for him, I would have ended up in a tiny house somewhere with seven of my own children to feed. I owe him _everything_."

While Loghain knew that he'd had a hand in making her what she was today, he also knew she was wrong about this. She had too much stubborn determination to simply accept her lot in life.

Teagan rose, lacing up his breaches as he moved to where she stood. "So this is about gratitude then? Cauthrien, you must have repaid any debt you must have owed him five times over by now."

"He has earned my loyalty." And, Loghain reflected, she had earned his too, in ways that the whelp would never understand.

Teagan took her hands in his. "We can ask for his blessing if it makes you feel better. Surely he would allow you to leave his service?"

Teagan was right about that. If she asked him, he would set her free, but the loss would be… _staggering_.

"But I don't want to leave his service. I'm a soldier. I'm his right hand because I am damn good at what I do. Marrying you would mean giving up everything I have worked for."

"No," he said. "There must be a way. Not everyone in the army is unmarried after all."

"Almost all of them are men. Of the few married women there are, none are married to men of rank." She withdrew her hands from his. "You are not just any man. You are a Bann with an estate and responsibilities. I would have duties as your wife – to take care of the estate, to bear and raise children, to stand by your side as you performed your social obligations. I could not do that and be his Lieutenant."

Bitterness dripped from the whelp's words. "You would rather be his second in command than my wife?"

"I have never lied to you, Teagan. I've made no demands of you. I've never asked for your fidelity or love, because I knew that it would not be fair."

"Well you have it, whether you asked for it or not!"

Her face twisted as she stepped back. "You have mine too, but I will not marry you. I'm sorry."

And then she was gone, leaving both men with an ache in their chests and darkness in their thoughts.

***

The heavy wooden door closed behind her. Teagan stood in the middle of the great library for a few moments, his anger and frustration and pain freezing him to the spot.

He turned and slammed his fist into the oak table, the loud thud ringing through the room, and then picked up the map and hurled it into the blazing fire.

The voice seemed to come out of thin air. "Well, that was a damn childish thing to do. That map was two hundred years old."

Startled, Teagan spun around to see Loghain glowering down at him from the balcony above. For a moment confusion swamped him as he wondered how the hell the Teryn had gotten into the locked library.

"How long have you been standing there?" Teagan demanded.

"Long enough to know that I'm not going to need to replace my Lieutenant."

Outrage that Loghain had witnessed something so wholly devastating and private made him made him clench his fists. "Do you make a habit of listening into people's private conversations, _Your Grace_?"

Loghain's cold blue gaze narrowed and dropped to Teagan's bare chest. "After what happened in this room tonight, you're going to lecture me on lurid behavior?"

Teagan swore, realizing Loghain had seen more than just his pride being torn to shreds. This man was Cauthrien's lord and master, and his retribution could be terrible if his ire was raised against his Lieutenant. "Are you going to punish her for this?"

"No," Loghain drawled. "I think you've already punished her enough."

"You've revealed yourself to gloat over your victory then."

"There was no victory here for anybody today," Loghain snapped. "Only an idiot whelp too ignorant and too spoiled to understand the woman he claims to love."

"And I suppose you do." Jealousy ate at his heart, poisoning his words. Teagan threw his hands wide. "What am I saying? Of course you do! You're the man who gave her everything."

"All I gave her was a start. She _earned_ everything she has, unlike you."

Stung, Teagan growled. "Is that so?"

"Yes." Loghain spoke as he descended the steps down into the main room. "You demand her hand without any comprehension about what it is that you're asking her to give up. You don't know a damn thing about her, because you were born into your title and rank and education. She has had to fight for hers, every step, past men of greater rank, men who called her my _whore_, because she happened to be a beautiful woman who had the audacity to be a better soldier and commander than them."

"I know what they called her." Teagan's face darkened. He had witnessed some of the worst himself.

"Then you should know how much it cost her to get this far and respect her choice, instead of acting like a spoiled child who has been denied his favorite plaything."

Teagan straightened to his full height and crossed his arms. "My favorite plaything, or yours?"

He had always thought the rumors of them sharing a bed were only the creation of small minded, vicious men, but what if there was some truth to the matter?

There was much satisfaction when he saw the Teryn's face darken. "You are dangerously out of line, _boy._"

Only Loghain would have the arrogance to call a man in his third decade 'boy.' Only Loghain would have the arrogance to think that his motives weren't completely transparent.

"Am, I? Because I think you want her." The more he studied the tightness on Loghain's face, the more Teagan became certain of it. Jealousy tightened his chest as he wondered if Cauthrien returned the Teryn's passion – if that wasn't the true reason for her refusal.

"I am her Commander. She is my Lieutenant. She is loyal to me, as I her. Nothing more. To be otherwise would undermine her authority and destroy everything she has earned as surely as it would if she married you."

Two pairs of blue eyes met as their gazes locked, and Teagan finally understood. Both wanted her, but she would belong to neither of them for exactly the same reason.

"I see."

"Good." Loghain paused before speaking further. "Your brother requests your presence. He wishes you to meet the Cousland girl. If you are looking for a wife, then that is where you should be."

Teagan lifted his chin. "The only wife I desire is her."

"Then you are in for a great disappointment. Cauthrien will not allow this dalliance to get in the way of her duty." He waved a dismissive hand in Teagan's direction, as he walked towards the door. "And eventually you will tire of her resistance and take another as your bride."

"No." Teagan picked his doublet and shirt off the floor, shrugging one on over the other as he glared at the other man. "I will break this terrible hold you have on her."

Loghain paused at the threshold of the door. "You will fail, because your ego cannot accept that she is exactly where she wants to be."

Teagan watched the Teryn leave, his anger mounting again in response to the undeniable truth in Loghain's words. After brooding in silence for awhile, Teagan stormed out of the war library, with every intention of washing his hands of Cauthrien and joining his brother at the ball. But when he stopped a few minutes later, it was in front of the door to her quarters.

He took a deep breath and knocked. When the door opened, Cauthrien appeared looking completely composed, other than her red rimmed eyes. Teagan knew that he shouldn't be pleased, but that she cared enough about him to shed tears was a balm to his wounded pride.

"May I come in?" he asked.

She nodded in bewildered silence and stepped aside to let him pass. The door closed behind him, and she looked at him, waiting for him to speak.

He raked a hand through his hair and began to pace the length of the room as he tried to form the right words. She watched him, wide-eyed until finally he stepped forward and took her hand in his. "I'm sorry."

Whatever she thought he was going to say, that wasn't it. She blinked in obvious surprise.

"For what? For offering yourself to me?" She covered her heart with the palm of her hand. "I'm deeply touched and honored that you want to share your life with me that way."

"For acting like a selfish ass. For not respecting your choice. For expecting you to drop everything you've earned and change completely, because I demanded it." He sighed. "Shall I go on?"

"I hurt you. You were angry and there is nothing to apologize for." She looked away and swallowed. "I always knew that one day this was going to have to end, I just thought that it would be because you would take another as your wife."

His grip on her hand tightened the same way that fear tightened around his heart. "You want to end this?"

She looked back at him. "No, of course not, but I thought that you would now."

Relieved, he tugged her closer and put a possessive arm around her waist. "I'm not going anywhere."

Her face softened as she sighed. "I'm still not going to marry you."

"I know." He took her into his arms and kissed her, reaching up and unbinding her hair and plunging his hand into the chestnut waves.

Eventually she pulled back from his embrace. "This isn't fair to you, Teagan."

"I will decide what is fair to me or not." He rested his forehead against hers so he could look her right in the eye. "You are the only woman I want, and if I cannot take you as my wife, then I will take you whatever way I can, for as much and as long as you will allow it. If you will still have me, that is."

She bit her lip. "I…" For a moment, he thought she was going to deny him. But her hands tightened around his shirt as pulled him closer. "I think I can live with that."

And even with his regret at what might have been, as Teagan lowered her down to the bed, he was surprised to discover that it was something he could live with it as well.


End file.
